Fear.
That's the one that gets me. Sometimes, I look around at the world and see how quickly those moments can change from warm to tragic and get terrified of the next moment life has in store for me. Unfair things happen--and they happen fast. So, for me, I find myself driving down the road, trying to teleport home for fear of getting in a car accident. Or, I sit, reading the news, letting my mind wander, imagining myself to have lost those closest to me. My mind flashes to those snapshots- the laughter of my son, the touch of my husband and I feel the loss that isn't there.
Sometimes it takes everything I have not to burst into tears. Because even though the loss isn't there, the uncertainty is. We don't know who will be there one minute from now. We don't know if we'll even be here one minute from now.
I by no means have this figured out. It is a DAILY struggle for me. But I've come to the conclusion that there are two parts towards coping with the uncertainty in life- and each one comes from the advice of an amazing woman.
Part 1: Enjoy every single moment with the ones you love. Take those mental snapshots and hold them close. Do something spontaneous and make crazy memories.
"Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends."
--Joan Didion
The second comes from my grandmother, Lorraine. Her strength and peace, I know, rest in a peace that can only be divine
.
Part 2: Don't be afraid. You have no promise of tomorrow. So, don't make today a day of fear.
Live in peace
.
"For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, of love, and of a sound mind."
-2 Timothy 1:7
She quoted this to me when I was little girl, scared of the dark. I have vivid memories of lying in my bed whispering this quietly over and over again. I remind myself of it daily, and soon,
the welling of tears subsides.
Snapshots from this past weekend...
