I've been quiet over the past few days because I've really just been in a "blah" mood. I know I'm being moody and super sensitive, and I feel like my emotions are completely beyond my control!! Not true, I know. Sometimes I get in moods where I'm just unsatisfied. I want to be doing, moving, decorating, working, making major life moves, anything but staying still. I find it difficult to relax, to just breathe and sit back in the quiet of nothingness.
I'm sure part of this has to do with the fact that I really haven't stopped moving since I was fifteen. I was always in several clubs, involved in several projects, working a couple of jobs and developing other interests, such as a marriage, a child, an education and a career along the way. My pursuit of perfection and blatant disregard for the virtue of patience have always gotten in the way of my ability to be still. And, now that I'm staying home, it's like I have to address this fear of not moving, even though I'm definitely doing a lot of physical moving with a three year old at home!
So, in this time of transition, I just want to take in the beauty of my life, the beauty of my babies, my husband, my family and my friends. Instead of trying to find new things to make pretty, I'll focus on the pretty that's already present. Because, while staying in the present is sometimes harder than reaching for the future, the quiet mind is ever more inspiring.
BLATANT DISREGARD FOR THE VIRTUE OF PATIENCE should be my middle name...ReplyDelete